Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
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