i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
