Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
