Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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