i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
