dude i'm inner monologue high
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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