just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
