im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
