I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
