Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
