i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
