Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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