Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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