dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
