it's too hot outside to masturbate.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
A+ Viking dick
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
