yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
