i think my mom watched the whole time
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Randomize
