brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
