STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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