Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
