If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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