Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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