My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Is her dick bigger than yours?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
There are leaves in my underwear?
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