ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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