Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
