i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
