That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
