just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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