omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
