come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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