i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
