It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
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