The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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