It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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