I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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