i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
