no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
