please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
