i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
