hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You are a genius and a whore.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
