I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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