im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
