it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
