Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
