Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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