I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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