I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just had sex on a roof
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
