Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
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