just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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