if you like me you must not know who I am
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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