I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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