Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
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