that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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